What can you say in a first message besides “Hi”?

When an interesting profile catches your eye, your first instinct may be to send “Hi”. There is nothing wrong with that, but someone receiving several similar greetings may not know how to respond.

A message about something in their profile gives a conversation more room to grow. You do not need to be deliberately funny or prepare an elaborate opening. Read their profile carefully and ask a relaxed question.

Find a topic in their profile

Before writing, look at their introduction, interests, photos and preferred languages.

If they enjoy photography, try: “I noticed you like photography too. Do you prefer street scenes or landscapes?” For travel: “Of all the places you have visited, which would you most like to return to?” For food: “That restaurant you mentioned looks good. Is there a dish you would especially recommend?”

Films and music can also lead to a conversation about something they have recently watched or heard. The question does not need to be unusual. What matters is showing that you read their profile, rather than sending the same line to everyone.

Make your question easy to answer

A first message works well when it is light and does not ask for much private information. For example:

• “Do you usually prefer going out at weekends or relaxing at home?”
• “If you had a completely free day, how would you spend it?”
• “I saw that you enjoy sport. What have you been doing most recently?”
• “Would you choose the beach, the hills or a café in the city?”
• “Have you discovered a good song or film lately?”

There is no right answer to these questions. The other person can reply at their own pace, and their response may lead naturally to another topic.

When a profile has very little detail

Some profiles have only photos, a city and a short introduction. If you cannot find a clear interest, begin with everyday life:

“Hello, I live in Kuala Lumpur too. Do you prefer exploring new places or returning to familiar favourites?”

“Your introduction is short, so here is an easy question: coffee or milk tea?”

“If you could recommend one Malaysian dish to a new friend, what would it be?”

Avoid opening with comments about someone's body or questions about income, their address, phone number or past relationships. Even well-intended curiosity can feel intrusive.

Keep compliments specific and respectful

A natural compliment can show interest. Commenting on something specific often feels more comfortable than focusing only on appearance:

“Your travel photo has a lovely atmosphere. Was it taken in Penang?”

“Your introduction feels sincere. I agree that getting to know someone does not need to be rushed.”

“I noticed you speak three languages. Which one do you use most often?”

An easy question after a compliment helps the conversation continue. Avoid sexual, insulting or pressuring language.

Your opening does not need to be long

Two or three sentences are usually enough. A long introduction can leave someone unsure which part to answer, while sending several messages in a row may create pressure.

Try this structure: a greeting + a profile detail + one question.

“Hello, I noticed you enjoy baking. Do you make cakes or bread more often?”

“Hi, you mentioned enjoying the outdoors at weekends. Where in Malaysia would you recommend to a beginner?”

“Hello, I like cats too. Is the cat in your photo yours?”

These openings express interest and leave a clear way to respond.

What if you do not get a reply?

No reply does not necessarily mean that your message was poor. The person may be busy, may not have checked their messages or may be choosing whom to talk to at their own pace.

Give them time. Avoid repeatedly asking for a response or blaming them for not replying. If they do not continue the conversation, respect their choice and meet other members.

You do not have to respond to every message either. You can end an uncomfortable conversation and use blocking or reporting when appropriate.

Let a real interest become your first hello

There is no perfect opening and no formula that guarantees a reply. Instead of polishing a line to sound impressive, notice what someone has shared and ask something you actually want to know.

Next time you are about to send “Hi”, add a detail: “Hello, I noticed you enjoy photography too. What is your favourite photo you have taken recently?” A comfortable conversation often starts with a question that simple and specific.